How do I get help if my child can't attend school due to anxiety?

Start here

Tell the school in writing your child is too anxious to attend and ask the SENCo for a support plan; if absence is likely to top 15 days, the council must arrange suitable education under the law. You do not need a diagnosis to ask for any of this. If your child is in mental health crisis, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option (any age, 24/7), or text SHOUT to 85258. In immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.

First, write to the school

Email the school and use the exact words “too anxious to attend”, not “unwell” or “won’t go”. That phrasing matters: it asks the school to record the absence as a recognised mental health need, which is what lets it be authorised on health grounds rather than logged as unauthorised truancy. Ask for a meeting with the SENCo (the teacher in charge of special educational needs) to agree a written support plan. Useful adjustments to put on the table:

a phased or later start, and a reduced timetable that is reviewed regularly
a named, trusted adult your child checks in with each day
a safe, quiet space they can go to when overwhelmed
a meet-and-greet at a side door rather than the main gate

Schools are expected to work in partnership with you and to put this kind of support in place rather than push attendance alone DfE attendance guidance, 2024.

Then, get health support on record

Ask your GP for a referral to NHS children’s mental health services (CAMHS), and ask the school to record the reason for the absence so it can be authorised on health grounds. Getting the need documented early helps both the school plan and any later request for an education, health and care (EHC) plan. Honest, early contact with the school and the GP is what the parent charity YoungMinds advises too, and they run a helpline for parents on 0808 802 5544 YoungMinds.

If your child is out of school for longer

Once your child is likely to be absent for 15 school days or more, whether in a row or added up over time, the duty shifts. Your local authority, the council, not the school, has to arrange suitable education for a child who cannot attend by reason of illness or otherwise Education Act 1996, s.19. Anxiety and mental health needs count, and the education can lawfully be part-time where that best meets your child’s needs DfE statutory guidance, 2023. You can also ask the council directly for an EHC needs assessment. You do not need the school’s agreement or a formal diagnosis to make that request Children and Families Act 2014, s.36. Asking is not the same as being granted one, but the council has to consider it. See how to apply for an EHCP yourself without the school.